Every now and then I receive emails from people who’ve been to Paris with a friend, family member or loved one, and ended up having a terrible holiday.
For some, this trip might be the dream of a lifetime, they’ve saved up for years, then they encourage, cajole or convince someone to go with them, and that person has no plan to do ANYthing in Paris, or is just a royal pain in the backside!
Have a chat with your friend / significant other / travel companion BEFORE you go! Talk about what YOU want to do whilst in Paris, and ask THEM what they plan to do.
Write it all down, discuss each point until you’re both happy with the outcome.
Make sure to be clear you do NOT need to be together 24/7 – have a day or a few hours apart often, and meet up in a cafe / bar in the afternoon for an aperitif or coffee to chat and share you day’s adventures! This can be so much fun and so rewarding for you both, as you won’t be getting on each others’ nerves :D
When one of you is unhappy and won’t tell the other
For a lot of people, they may feel extremely disappointed once they’re there (for any number of reasons), and many of them will not even tell the other person how unhappy they are.
OK – that can happen – honestly – so don’t sulk, pout or seethe silently.
Remember … it’s a new situation for you both in a foreign city
Getting along great with someone in your home town might be easy, but travelling overseas has all kinds of other situations you both might not have thought about.
- Talk to them – ask them if they’d be OK to spend a few hours on their own, or even a day, take a tour on their own, and meet up later to share adventure stories.
- Are you or they an early riser? Talk about how to deal with that.
- Do either of you like “quiet” time to write a journal or read a book? Discuss how to manage that. Can one of you go to a cafe to leave the other in peace?
- If either of you makes new friends, are you both happy to have them come back to your shared room to visit?
- Speak of sharing a room … Set some boundaries BEFORE you leave home so you don’t drive each other crazy. Before you go, talk about:
- phones, chargers etc
- alarm clocks – who loves or hates them? are they necessary? I use my iPhone
- snoring or just noisy
- untidiness
- suitcases overflowing on the floor and the bed
- food in the room – and scraps
- having a radio or music going all night to help YOU sleep all night, but which BUGS the other person.
- Now honestly – do you still want to SHARE a room? I suggest you find the budget to each have your own room, or rent an Airbnb apartment with 2 bedrooms, which is something I can highly recommend :-)
If you can’t salvage the trip, SMILE, stop sulking and start planning
And by that I mean PLAN ANOTHER trip as soon as possible, and do ALL the things you wanted to do the first time round!
I also mean PLAN to talk to your travelling companion right now, so the rest of the trip can be less stressful for both of you.
Here are some of the questions I’ve heard from nervous travellers:
- is it safe to travel to Paris on my own? YES
- how will I manage on my own? QUITE WELL if you plan in advance
- I’ve never travelled alone – how can I do this? WITH CONFIDENCE
- I’m afraid to be on my own. A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE AWAITS!
- I’m sure I’ll be so lonely I’ll have an awful time! IF YOU DECIDE to have a GREAT TIME instead, YOU WILL :D
These are just some of things people have written to me.
So – here are a few tips I’ve shared over the years, which might help you to plan a trip on your own to the City of Love and Light!
Have you heard that Paris is for lovers?
Well, yes, it is.
But it’s also for lovers of LIFE, enjoyment, adventure!
You don’t have to be with someone to fall in love with Paris, when you’re IN Paris :-)
A few suggestions on how to fall in love with Paris a second time!
I’ve spoken to many women over the years who have had similar experiences to the ones I mention above — I know this won’t make it any better for you if that’s what you’re going through or have just been through — but it saddens my heart that when we travel with our dearly loved partner they become selfish and think only of themselves.
My suggestion is always — go again, and go alone!
Now you’ve been once — you’ve been in arm’s reach of amazing sights and sounds, and you know enough about Paris to go again — or with a carefully-selected, well-screened friend — and enjoy absolutely every minute of every day!
I’m not sure of your age, but when I divorced in Australia and ended up in Paris — I fell in love with her, the City of Love and Light, and I ended up staying for about three years that first time (before I was offered a new adventure in Greece!). I did go back to Paris and stay for many months at a time, and continue to revisit friends and places I love.
Back then – newly single, I didn’t speak more than a few sentences in French, but I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and willing to learn, knowing there was always going to be a new adventure around every corner if I could speak a bit of the language!
Do mini “practice trips” before you go to Paris
If you think you’d be nervous going on your own, do what I recommend to friends — go to a town or district a small distance from where you live, just for the day, or even a few days if you can.
- BE A TOURIST
- go to the Visitor Information office
- get maps
- go on a sightseeing tour
- eat out in cafes and restaurants on your own
- take books (about Paris!) and a notebook
- enjoy the time on your own.
Treat it like you would if you were in Paris – explore and have adventures!
Talk to strangers :-)
In fact, the best thing I ever could have done when I arrived in Paris was to sign up for a language class. You could do this near your home!
5 days a week, 8 hours a day for a total of 4 weeks I learnt enough French to survive, and my whole Parisian world opened up :-)
In fact, the people I met at the school became my friends, and that made it even more fun to meet them in cafes and chat outside school hours.
That was 30 years ago, and one of those people (a gorgeous Italian woman with a great sense of humour) is still a close friend today!
These days the younger French generations are happy to speak English, but it’s ever so helpful to know a bit of French.
- Today I use the Duolingo App every day to practice 5-10 minutes of verbal and written French — it’s such a great easy-to-use program!
I think if you try some of these things, you will understand that Paris isn’t “over” — it’s really just beginning. And your next adventure is ahead of you, beckoning you with open arms, to come and explore on your own, without any negativity from a travel friend.
And if you’d ever like to talk about Paris, I’d love to Zoom (or Skype) with you — we can work out a time to suit us both, and we can chat about the things you LOVED about Paris! I’d love that if you’re up for it!
To answer the questions I’ve received:
Paris is for lovers of life!
If you have any other questions, please do get in touch (by email or on Facebook) so we can chat further.
Happy travels!
Sending big hugs,
Ciao ciao for now, a bientot! (See you soon!)
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